When a relationship ends there are so many emotions from anger to sadness to grief and the list goes on. 

As we begin to dissect what happened and how things fell apart, we have to look both at ourselves and our ex partner and the dynamic and patterns that your partnership created. 

If you can try to be like an objective detective, you can start to see where each of your core wounds, fears, shame and attachment issues played a role in the dynamic becoming unhealthy for both of you. 

Giving yourself grace and some grace to your ex for where their damaged self came into play will help you understand how things got toxic for both of you. 

This is one of the steps to heal so that you don’t keep repeating these same patterns with future partners.