Hi, my name is Lee Wright and I am a divorce coach. I’m so glad that you downloaded this exercise and have chosen to do the coaching session with me. This best self exercise is really, really beneficial. It should help you go through the divorce process a little bit smoother, potentially speed up the process. Because sometimes when we don’t want to deal with things or we’re not dealing with things effectively, we avoid them, which installs the whole process. So keeping things moving and hopefully end up with financial income that you’re content with or can live with and a future relationship with your coparent, which is extremely important for the benefit of your children and your sanity and for the divorce process to come to an end so that you can both move on into the next phase and chapter of your life which is actually an exciting process in and of itself. So what we’re going to do today is going to take about 15 minutes. You need a pen and paper and the guide, the best self exercise guide that was emailed to you after you signed up for this program. So if you don’t have that, hit pause and go grab it. 

Grab a pen and paper and I’m just going to tell you to hit pause periodically. Obviously you can do that at any time without me telling you, but I’m going to use that to give you time to work on pieces along the way. So the goal of this is going to be to create awareness for you of behavior patterns that you tend to fall into that don’t actually help you, especially in this current relationship with your ex, which already probably has some negative feedback loops where they say something, you react a certain way. It’s almost like a rut that you guys have come into and it doesn’t obviously work because you’re getting divorced. So if you change your behavior and reactions, then you can actually potentially change that feedback loop because they’re expecting you to act in the way that you always do. And so even you one side changing behavior will change the whole loop and hopefully improve your communication and decision making together for the process.

So what we’re going to do today is going to take about 15 minutes. You need a pen and paper and the guide, the best self exercise guide that was emailed to you after you signed up for this program. So if you don’t have that, hit pause and go grab it. Grab a pen and paper and I’m just going to tell you to hit pause periodically. Obviously you can do that at any time without me telling you, but I’m going to use that to give you time to work on pieces along the way. So the goal of this is going to be to create awareness for you of behavior patterns that you tend to fall into that don’t actually help you, especially in this current relationship with your ex, which already probably has some negative feedback loops where they say something, you react a certain way. It’s almost like a rut that you guys have come into and it doesn’t obviously work because you’re getting divorced. So if you change your behavior and reactions, then you can actually potentially change that feedback loop because they’re expecting you to act in the way that you always do. And so even you one side changing behavior will change the whole loop and hopefully improve your communication and decision making together for the process. So in the top third of the paper that you have in front of you, I would like you to write two to three people who you respect, look up to feel are quite successful in their relationships, whether that be at work or in personal life, but that you think are good role models and attributes that they show when they are in a relationship, working with people that you think are beneficial and serve them well. Now keep in mind, if you can spot it, you got it. That’s a saying that’s basically saying a phrase that’s basically saying that if you have awareness of that behavior, you can incorporate it, even if you might not currently. So hip pause and work on. You can read number one, which kind of highlights what I just said and then come back to the video. All right, welcome back. We are going to move on to numbers two and three. And this is where you’re going to create a list of you when you are in your flow, when you are in a really good place, you’re relaxed, you are comfortable, maybe you’re with friends and family and you are or potentially doing an activity that you love, that you are really in a good place emotionally. What behaviors do you display and what do you look like? How would people describe you when you’re in that place? Okay, so hip pause, work on that list and then come back when you’re ready.

All right, so you’ve completed the top third of the page with number one, the other people, the second third of the page are you in your best self. The last third of the page is going to be the hardest list to create because this list is you when you are not performing or behaving in your best self. And just to put a disclaimer, we all have negative behaviors or reactions to certain triggers that we’re not proud of. None of us are perfect, and we are all a work in progress and different things trigger us in different ways. And that is all. Okay? So I don’t want you to think if you have a long list that you’re worse than anybody else. You’re probably not. And you’re just being completely honest and creating really, really important, healthy awareness so that you can catch yourself when you are participating in these behaviors that you don’t like. And you can actually change those behaviors and change the patterns that are not conducive for you to be successful in life, relationships, any aspect, learning how to control those emotions and those reactions is very beneficial through your divorce, for sure, but also in future relationships, relationships with your kids at work, you name it. So take a minute and read number five, and that is going to explain a little bit more about what I mean by behavior patterns or reactions that might not be helpful for you.

All right, welcome back. So you now have all thirds done, so other people, yourself and then yourself when you’re in your best self and yourself when you’re in your not best self. Okay, so now I’d like you to hit pause and write a few sentences. Or if you prefer, a few bullet points of compiling all of that, the attributes that you’ve seen in others that you believe that you want. To incorporate for yourself and you when you’re in your best self and a few sentences or bullets of reactions that you know you do that you want to break or catch yourself when you’re doing and put that somewhere. That you will see it each morning so that you can remember especially days that you’re going in, potentially for mediation or meeting to discuss something with your ex. Read through it that morning so that it is top of mind and you can capture yourself in the process. If you are finding that you are jumping back into a reaction that doesn’t serve you, and even if that means apologizing and taking a deep breath and trying again in real life in the moment, there’s nothing wrong with saying I’m sorry, let me repeat myself differently. 

So this is again something that you’ll use over time all throughout the divorce process. At this point, if you haven’t already scheduled your coaching session that came as a part of this program, just send me a text, my phone number is 321-696-3482 and just say somewhere in the text that you want to schedule your best self coaching session and I’ll get back to you and we’ll find a time to meet. And another thing I just wanted to mention here is you can use this best self exercise in other ways. You can look at it for yourself at work and do the exercise focused more on work and behaviors that you respect others for when they are at work meetings and that you want to work on. You can do it for yourself as a parent. And I actually recently just did it for myself of how I want to show up in future love relationships and it was really thought provoking. And I have my statement that I made that compiled everything and I look at it regularly. So I hope this helps you. I look forward to meeting you in our coaching session and you can reuse it multiple times for different things. Thank you so much for joining me and I look forward to talking to you soon. Have a great day. Thanks, bye.