For me, life is about experiences, the joy that comes from those experiences and the lessons you learn along the way.  Dating and relationships are also life experiences.  Some of us will only have a few serious relationships in our lives and some of us will have many.  Neither is good or bad, they are just our personal journeys with lessons about ourselves and human relationships if we pay attention.

It is not easy, but if you can date with an open mind, recognize that after divorce, there might be relationships that fit the season and the stage of growth that you are in at that time.   

My niece told me that she learned in her High School Psychology class that it is helpful to make a list with three columns, Column One is Must Have, Column Two is Would Be Nice and Column Three is Must Not.  This list is a bit more realistic than the ‘I Want It All’ list that I have found tends to backfire in your face.

I have dated with a very open mind, each of my boyfriends have been so different and I feel like that has helped me experience many different types of relationships.  I did not have set criteria in place to rule people out and I just went with what felt right at the time.  In just those relationships, I have experienced dating someone 14 years older than me and 7 years younger than me…someone very wealthy and someone with almost nothing to his name…some who had a very traditional 9-5 lifestyle and others with very non-traditional entrepreneurial lifestyle…some with grown kids, young kids and no kids.  

I have learned so much about myself and relationships during and after they fell apart.  The ending of a relationship is painful but they are also opportunities for self growth and reflection.  It is definitely painful and can be a real mind-f-ck but I have worked on accepting that it is all part of the process of life. 

I have ended up keeping in touch with each of them after the pain of the end ebbed away and they are all a part of my story and what makes me who I am today.  And I know that they each wish me the best and vice versa and like everything in life, you never know where your path will take you down the road.