One of the things that going back to the transition and the changes, one of the things that we also don’t normalize, I think enough and talk about it whenever you’re going through a life change, whether any of the things that we mentioned just any other change, there’s always a loss involved of what your life looks like before. And then when there’s loss involved and that leads to some grief, we all know that when someone dies, there’s grief there, but there’s grief for any type of loss that you have in your life. It might look a little bit different depending on the type of loss, but that’s something that you’re experiencing whenever there’s a major change.
they talk about the five stages of grieving, but I think we need to remember that it’s not a linear process. Like, we can go through one phase and then the next, and then six months later, we’re back in an old phase. And that’s just it’s something to not judge ourselves about and be okay with having feelings that are uncomfortable and letting ourselves sit in those feelings and process through them, not trying to push them away because the growth and healing comes from actually letting yourself go into some of those hard feelings. So you might be like, for me, I’ve recently gone through a divorce as well, and I noticed a lot of those face elf. And the first part of the shock for me, it was more like it’s disorienting. Like, my life now looks completely different than what it did last week. And I feel confused. I feel like I’m not really sure where to go. Like, I have no idea what’s coming next. It’s just like a feeling of disorientation for me. And so for me, that was the shock and denial. That was how it looked like for me. But I didn’t just get through that and move on to the next stage of the pain and guilt.
It was just like, I felt that, and then I started to feel some pain, and then I’d get some anger, and then I would go back to the disorientation, and then I would feel better. And then I think I’d work through all of it, and all of a sudden I’m way back for a few days and like, the sadness and anger, and I’m like, wait a minute, I’ve already done this phase. And it’s like, well, things are going to trigger you and things are going to come up. And that’s healthy and normal if you acknowledge it and give it space to work through. And that might look different for you if you’re like saying your children are leaving the home or just you’re going back from being a stay at home mom to being a working mom.
That’s a whole different which I’ve gone through as well. It’s just like the first day, I remember I went to work and I went to the bathroom I was like, oh, my God, I can’t believe I’m in a public toilet. I just came out of my house. Why did I do little things like, this is not where my life was before, and it was something I had chosen, but it was still even those positive changes that you choose, still, you can have all of these feelings. And so it’s helpful to know that you’re not the only one, that everyone is going through some version of it, right? And that it’s very normal. Because, again, change is hard and we are used to routine. So anytime you’re going through a life change, that you’re going to experience the feeling of loss for whatever you had before. And it’s just like all of those stages that you’re talking about it.
