Stay or Go?

Almost all of us have struggled with the decision to Stay or Go from a relationship at one point in our lives, sometimes for years or even decades.
Walking away from someone you care about but who cannot meet your needs can sometimes be the bravest act you will ever do.
Saying ‘no’ to a bad relationship is really saying YES to yourself. This is a very hard decision and following through on exiting can prove to be just as hard, depending on your situation.
It takes massive courage to choose yourself. It takes massive courage to leave the ‘status quo’ even when you know the status quo is hurting you.
Change is scary and the fear of the unknown can feel overwhelming.
Trying to make the decision of whether to ‘stay or go’ can feel like a purgatory state that is both mentally and emotionally exhausting.
But for many people, there is relief once they make a decision to prioritize themselves and leave an unhealthy relationship.
If you have done everything you can to make the relationship work (including educating yourself, doing your own work, working with a therapist individually and as a couple) and you are still unhappy it can sometimes be a gift to yourself and to your partner to let each other go.
Leaving should not be seen as having failed, giving up or throwing in the towel.
As Esther Perel says, some relationships are ‘love stories’ and some are
‘life stories’.
I always say I would rather be lonely alone than lonely in a relationship.
I work with my clients who are trying to decide whether to stay or leave and give them the space to explore until they decide what is best for them and their family. Either decision takes courage, actually making a decision is brave, no matter what it is!
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