Valentine’s Day for many is just a commercial holiday, but it can be a time to take stock, it might invite us to reflect on our love stories, the challenges and triumphs we have had, and our desires for the future.

As we navigate the complexities of modern love, this day reminds us of the simplicity and depth of genuine affection.

When I work with my clients, some of whom are in the process of deciding whether staying in their marriage is the right choice for them, we discuss the relationship from the point-of-view of a four legged stool. If any of the legs break then the stool does not work like it should.

From my perspective, the four legs of a healthy relationship include: Healthy Communication, Playfulness, Intimacy & Affection, and Shared Values & Vision for the Future. If these four things are present in a relationship then it should be able to weather most storms and provide each partner with the feeling of being heard, respected, loved, cared for along with joy and laughter.

For many couples in long-term marriages, one or two of these legs get wobbly or fractured and it takes conscious effort and time from both parties to strengthen the weaker legs so that the stool can be strong like it once was. I believe if both partners still love each other, the legs can be repaired but it must be a joint effort or it is probably an effort it is in vain.

No matter where you are on this journey with love this Valentine’s Day, give yourself and those around you hugs and appreciation for the little things because it is the little things that add up!

Happy Valentines Day